Hearing Test for the Deaf

I had to have a hearing test today.  So now it's official.  I'm totally Deaf.   Both ears heard zilch.  I was tested at 100 db and heard nothing.

So what is 100db?  Onto google and I found a comparison chart...

I didn't know that the loudest sound possible was 194db but wonder what might make that kind of noise. Years ago I was tested with equipment that tested up to 140db and nothing registered then either - so I presume you could safely say I'm totally deaf in both ears.

The reason I had to have my hearing tested is that I've applied for a fire alarm (vibrating).  At present, if there was a fire at night, the only thing that might wake me is my cat.  The local fire service don't believe puss is reliable, so have suggested a vibrating alarm. Because I live alone and have a great need for it, I can apply for funding.  They are usually very expensive so they're not in my 5 year plan, and I've always said you have to die of something anyway!!  And hence the reason for the test - to satisfy the funders that I am in fact... Deaf.

So this afternoon I spent a few minutes in an audiologists office with a pair of headphones on my head while I tried to hear one iota of sound.  My reliability of response was consistent.  That's good.  I like to be consistent.

I was rather pleased to put my implant back on and hear again afterwards.  The implant puts me back in the speech zone.  I can't wear the implant at night though as it falls off so no point and this is why i need the alarm.

Next time I'm in Auckland, I'll get a test done to show you my aided hearing.  I don't have anything current to compare with this test today :)

A Necessary Evil

See this thing above? It's a portable vibrating alarm clock that we, as deaf/Deaf people rely on to wake us up in the morning. A necessary evil and the bane of my life.  Its named 'The Vibrator'.

Some people are able to just shove it under the pillow and it'll wake them up with a gentle vibration at the right time. Not me though! For some reason whenever I need to get up early to catch a flight, or for an appointment, as soon as I set the alarm clock, my body goes into this weird phase. It's an 'OMG I have to get up early, what say the vibrating doesn't wake me, I better stay awake all night' phase. So I toss and turn, and I might doze for a while, but you can guarantee I'll be wide awake an hour before the alarm is ready to go off. When I don't need it, I'll be dead to the world and nothing will wake me!

I can't shove this contraption under my pillow either in case on that very rare occasion I do go to sleep, my body in a fit of absolute contrariness will roll over to the other side of the bed and I won't feel a thing and slumber on. No, this contraption has to be clipped onto me. Note the shape. It doesn't really have a good shape, and its hard. That means if you turn over, it ends up digging into you and wakes you up anyway.

But last night. It went mad. Totally insane. I don't know what I did to deserve the treatment it gave me last night. I had a flight to catch this morning - and the only flight I could get was one at 7.00am. Which meant I had to be at the airport at 6.30am. So I set the alarm for 6.02am. I double checked that it was 6.02am and not pm. I even double checked the time it was to make sure daylight saving had been accounted for.

For once, I actually went into a deep sleep. I know this because when the vibrator went off I immediately thought - gee that was a good sleep, makes a change! I opened my eyes. Hmmmmm something seems a little off - it's *very* dark for 6.02am. I switched on the light. 3.30am??? WTF??? I woke up enough to set the alarm clock back to 6.02am, clipped it back on to me, turned over and tied to go back to sleep.

{{{{vibrate}}}} ten minutes later. In the dark, I fiddled with the buttons to turn the snooze off and back on again. No matter what I did, the clock then vibrated every ten minutes from 3.00am to 4.30am. The clock would not co-operate, and the snooze could not be turned off. Finally I had had enough. I got up, turned the light on, and reset the alarm again. Just as well I did as the alarm had somehow reset to 7.02am, and the time was way off anyway. I clipped it back onto me, turned over again and tried to go back to sleep.

This time the clock behaved, but my sleep pattern was so disturbed, I then dreamed my cat was missing, that I was going round yelling for her at the top of my voice and somehow ended up at a friend of my cousin Ruth and Terry, who had tooted the horn at me a few times to say hello (so they told me in my dream), and I was yelling for my cat in their garden and she came. I was carrying her home when I woke up at 5.02am, to find the cat right on top of me, exactly like Garfield.

I gave up then, and just lay awake waiting for my alarm to vibrate. It did. At 6.02am. Right on the dot.

I've decided that I will go nowhere before 9.30am from now on!

Silly Games

Human behaviour never ceases to amaze me.  It shouldn’t surprise me, as I’ve been around now for 50 years, and I shouldn’t expect adult behaviour from every adult.  But when bad, silly behaviour comes from supposed leaders of the Deaf community, it saddens me.  These people should actually know better.

It’s childish to defriend people from facebook suddenly, without reason.  It doesn’t give you any power.

It’s further childish to slander those people you have defriended when they can’t defend themselves.

Worse, it’s terrible to mislead others in the Deaf Community by not giving the full story, or full and correct information.  

It’s unethical to whisper in innuendos and open ended questions, open to anyone’s interpretation.

This is bully behaviour, like you expect in a school playground, not what you expect of people in leadership positions.

It’s time that this behaviour was stopped.  Deaf leaders have a responsibility to their community to lead by example, not picking on people without factual information.  They need to embrace positive causes instead of tarnishing projects negatively.

If you have questions about ethics or if you’re concerned about something, it’s far better to go to the source of the matter and ask the questions straight.  If you are still unsure, you can seek legal advice, but remember this; the law states very clearly that a person is innocent until proven guilty not the other way around.  Any written word on the contrary is harmful, and can be proven as slander.

The Deaf community can only grow and prosper when these types of behaviours are stopped.

Out of the Great Silence

When I hear the name Solomon Islands, beautiful imagery of white sandy beaches, blue skies, and coconut palms lining the shores fill my mind.  Paradise untouched.  

However for many people living on the island, it is certainly no paradise.  The reality is that the country is very poor, and for the disabled it is very hard to eke out a living.  There is no government support for these people and therefore they are reliant on international aid for education, health and other resources.

Many of these people are profoundly or totally Deaf.  It is possibly genetic, but much more likely to be caused by Malaria.  There is no medical intervention, as it’s a developing country with only limited health resources.  The number of Deaf people is unknown due to country being made up of thousands of islands,  many of them are very isolated.  We do know the ratio of Deaf is very high but there are no statistics to verify it.  There are no known programmes to help prevent further deafness.

  

The San Isidro Centre located outside Honiara, educates Deaf and disabled young people from the ages of 14 and over, over a duration of three years.  Courses such as English, Maths, Business, Sign Language, Agriculture, Life skills, Carpentry, Woodwork, and Practical Trade and Skills are offered.

The centre also advocates for basic human rights for people with disabilities and empowers the disabled through training of these basic academic and skilled subjects, of which they were deprived because of their disabilities.

Their vision is to change social attitude towards people with disabilities, in allowing them the same dignity and right to a decent living as anyone else.  The courses ensure they can become co-developers in society, rather than being marginalised and neglected.

The centre was started in 2007 by Brother George.  At that time temporary buildings were made from local materials.  Today it has three permanent staff houses, one industrial workshop and a dormitory for girls.

Brent Macpherson from Stretch Productions heard about the centre when he met an interpreter from Wellington who had worked there as a volunteer.  He had always wanted to do a documentary about Deaf Aborigines, but it was too difficult to access these people in Outback Australia and the plan went on the backburner.  When he heard about the Deaf Villagers in the Solomon Islands, he thought it was a great opportunity for a documentary, so went to visit them in June and October 2011.

The two trips were to learn about the Solomon Islands culture and their way of life, but more importantly to gain their trust to produce a documentary.   It was a great opportunity to learn about the village and centre and to find out their needs.

Brent feels that the San Isidro Care Centre will eventually become a Deaf Community, as there are now six ex-students living at the Centre permanently.  Many will choose to stay, simply because of the ease in being able to communicate with each other in comparison to their own villages.  Some of these students arrive at the village with no language at all after years of not being able to hear in their own isolated communities.  They usually arrive at the Care by 'word of mouth', however, in many cases it is simply too late. For Deaf people, it is so important to have access to education when they are young.

Brent plans to produce a documentary to raise the awareness of the Deaf in the Solomon Islands, highlighting the needs of the San Isidro Care Centre.  All proceeds from the documentary will go back to the Centre to fund much needed resources for the Deaf.  Right now, the centre needs more dormitories built, especially for boys, a proper kitchen or dining hall, a chapel, better equipped classrooms and a school bus.  They also need trained teachers of the Deaf, and qualified interpreters.

  

The documentary shoot is planned for May/June 2012.  $80,000 NZD needs to be raised for  the project to go ahead.  All monies from the sale of the Documentary and DVDs will go straight back to the San Isidro Care Centre.  He has full support from the National Foundation of the Deaf.  (NFD)

If you're interesting in knowing more, a short video has been produced.  You can view it here.


Click on this to view Video.


If you would like to donate to this worthy project, please click on the donate button below.  On the second page of donations, please use the drop down menu to select Solomon Islands to make sure the money goes to the correct project.

Every little bit helps!

Oscillopsia

People often wonder about me.  Why a perfectly 'normal' looking person doesn't work. I do look normal don't I?  However, behind that 'normality' I have a disability.  It's one that is very hard to understand when I tell you about it, so best given  by way of the video below...

The disability is bilateral Oscillopsia.  Basically, when I lost all my balance, I lost my built in 'image stabiliser'.  The video shows you what it is like for me when I walk.  If I bump into someone I know in the street, I will not recognise them until I stop and get everything in focus.  As I'm deaf, I'm not likely to recognise them by sound.

In addition to the up and down movement image stabiliser that I've lost, I also have it from side to side.  When I turn my head  say from desk to computer to type a document, that constant movement would render me seasick quite quickly.  I also have it in a forward and back movement as well, so if someone applies the brakes too often in a car, it can make me carsick.  I also get carsick on long drives even when I drive.

Any movement that is repetitive can render me unwell.  This includes everything, even simple everyday things can make me feel terrible.

I cope by breaking up my day.  I never do the same thing for too long.  I always make sure I sit down half way through and come back later to finish it.  As long as I can keep my head absolutely still, I can do things for long periods of time, but anything where movement is involved - forget it!   I have a stockpile of seasickness pills in my cabinet, but I try not to take them as they make me sleepy.  I prefer to have all my faculties working at all times.  I will only take them if I absolutely have to, at the times it is the worst.

I rarely talk about this.  I don't see it as a illness, but as a weakness.  I know I know, silly, but that's just the way I view it.  However, in my recent hospital stay, after my ankle operation and I was in plaster, and unable to put weight on my foot, the nurse that was looking after me seemed to think I was being 'too cautious' when I refused to have a shower.  The shower was a chub bath and I wouldn't use one even if I didn't have a plaster on for safety reasons.  I realised then that the only way I'm going to make people understand is to show them a little video, and what better way than to send them to my blog.

This bilateral Oscillopsia is also the reason I am fairly accident prone.  It's much easier to lose your balance when things are not stable for you, and the lack of a balance mechanism means that sometimes you don't realise you are actually falling, and by the time you do, it's too late to right yourself.

In the last 3 weeks, being on crutches after my tendon reattachment has been really trying.  I've fallen once.  But lost my balance many times, but fortunately been able to right myself by leaning on walls etc...  The biggest frustration is not being able to bend down and pick things up while balancing on one leg.  Many people take for granted that if they drop something, they can just bend down and pick it up.  Picking something up is a mission for me when I have two legs to balance on, but at the moment, to pick something up off the floor is nigh impossible.  One legged with no balance is simply dangerous.

Today, I just smashed a mug and a glass while trying to empty the dishwasher, and broken glass and crockery is all over the kitchen tiles.  I don't DARE try and pick it all up as if I do, I have a high chance of falling over and then cutting myself.  This means I have to have patience until I can jump on the first person that comes to the door, and ask for help!!

Even trying to make health providers understand why you need help is a mission.  Usually I just give up.  But being in plaster for the last 3 weeks, has made me come to realise that I do need people to understand more what it is like, and that I probably do need a bit more help than the average person who has the same operation just for simple safety reasons.

I didn't always have Oscillopsia, but over the years, it has got worse.  Websites with information about this tell me that it gets better over time, but for me it's been the opposite.  It's got worse and continues to do so.  I wonder if it goes hand in hand with the vertigo that I get as well.  But I won't go into that. Let's just understand my bilateral Oscillopsia today.  I would rather bury the rest in a hole and not talk about it ever!

If you have any questions, please feel free to comment and ask in the blog, I'm only too happy to answer them as long as I can!

Word Mispronunciations!

I've always done it. Right from when I was young. I still do it now. Mispronounce words. You know as soon as the word has left your mouth, and people look at you with that strange look on their face, that you committed that terrible sin of not saying a word properly.

You get mixed reactions. It could be....

The rolled eyes. Those are the worse. It's confirmation that not only do people think you might be stupid, they now know you are.

Or you get the blank stare. The 'Is this for real' look' Same explanation as above.

Then you might get derisive laughter. These are the people who not only know you're stupid, but now want everyone else around you to know as well.

I read a lot. I always have. Just to give an indication of how much I read - I have read 14 books in the last 14 days. I don't usually read that much, but I'm on a roll at the moment. What this means is I learn a lot of words, and their context, but I might not have actually 'heard' them before. Then I might decide to use the word, often with disastrous results. I should really learn to use the KISS approach!

Anyway - not all mispronunciations are embarrassing. Particularly when you're with good friends. I was telling my friend how I've just read this amazing book. It was called Escape, by Carolyn Jessop. It was about a splinter mormon group who practised Polly Gammy (polygamy) and how she escaped from the cult wtih her six children. As soon as I said pollygammy, I knew I had committed that dreadful sin of mispronunciation.

Fortunately my friend laughed then explained how to say it. Then she said gammy was a leg with a limp. I then explained that's right the book was about people with multiple legs, all with limps! Our imagination went wild and we had a big laugh about it.

I wish all people would treat mispronunciations this way. It's much more fun and can be downright hilarious.

Oh yes - the book is a great read - I fully recommend it!

Just what part of DEAF do people not understand?

I'm still gobsmacked at the continuing sagas that happen around me when it comes to my deafness.

Two weeks ago I had the following conversation.

Person 1: "You should read Robyn's blog - it's hilarious"
Person 2: "Yep - Robyn you should write professionally"
Me: "Well - I would if someone would pay me!!"
Person 1: "I still can't believe some of the things she has to go through when people just can't get it that she's deaf and can't hear on the phone"

I then explained for the others who haven't read the blog, how my friend answered the phone for me one day, and explained calmly over thephone that I was deaf and couldn't her on the phone, yet they still insisted on talking to me. This went on for some time until my friend had to ask 'Just what part of DEAF do you not understand'.

I've told her that next time it happens just tell them I'm dead - it may be easier for them to understand why I can't come to the phone!!

Anyway person 3 pipes up...

Person 3: "Why don't you just get those flashing lights so you can tell when the phone rings"
Me:. (trying not to be sarcastic) "ooooo I didn't think of that" but then I had to explain to her "I still wouldn't be able to answer the phone at all as I can't hear on it to pick it up"
Person 3: (Realising she has made a mistake) "oooooooo of course giggle"
Person 3: "So why don't you just get an answerphone then?"

I gave up after that, while Person 1 was having trouble getting up of the floor as she was laughing so hard!

Then there's today. My alarm went off again today. At the moment, when my alarm goes off, my company that monitors the alarm rings my daughter to let her know that the alarm is going off. She told me when I got home that she had a missed call from the security company today.

So I get onto the internet relay and rang the Alarm company. Asked for someone to help me with my alarm, got put into one department. On talking to them, they then transferred me to the monitoring department. They promptly hung up on the relay operator. I had the relay operator ring back, and asked to be put through the monitoring company and the conversation went something like this...

Me:. Hi - My name is Robyn . I am totally utterly deaf. At present when my alarm goes off, you contact my daughter on her cellphone, however she's going overseas in a couple of weeks, so I need you to contact me instead. As I can't hear on the phone, can you text me on my cellphone?

Alarm company: "no"

Me: "Not at all"

Alarm company 'No"

Me: - "Well - as I'm totally deaf, is there some exception you can make in my circumstances, or some solution you could come up with to help me with this, otherwise I see absolutely no point of having my alarm monitored, and paying a monthly fee. Do you?"

Alarm company: "Well - we could fax you or email you"

Me: "Well - if my alarm is going off, the chances are that I am out, therefore I'm not home to pick up emails or faxes" (She has to be blonde right?)

I then asked for her manager, who then put me through to someone else.

The long and short of it is that Yes - the alarm company CAN txt me alarm alerts and will do so from now on. But... Fax? Email? That's hilarious! I think some staff training is necessary in this company!!!

In the meantime I know have 8 voice mail messages on my cellphone, of which I have absolutely no idea how to listen to. Sigh - probably should just delete them!

I have a Surgery Date !!! Wheeeee !!!!

30th March.

30th March

30th March

30th March

30th March

Whew - it's such a relief. Never ever have I ever looked forward so much to have my head cut open. If they could do it tomorrow I'd even be happier, but this at last gives me something to look forward to, and the hope that I might hear something other than my confounded tinnitus all day. The only unfortunate thing is that I will not be able to hear my daughter say her goodbyes, before she goes off to the UK indefinitely on the 12th April. It would have been so nice to be able to at least converse with her properly before she went. But I'm still pleased that things are finally moving.

It's been quite an emotional week. The blow of ACC declining funding, the hope that the Cochlear Implant trust will pick up the tab, and then the hope realised with a date in concrete. I'ts a Monday :)

More tomorrow.....

28 days to go, 28 days to go.......

Lipreading Misinterpreted? Or just bad Luck?

I've been advertising for flatmate. You know the story, recession, hard times, need something to help pay the mortgage. I really didn't want another student, as now that my daughter has left home, I'm ready to kick up my heels, and don't want to be tied down cooking meals for people every night of the week.

As I'm totally deaf now, and can no longer use a phone, I got my daughter to help me put up an advertisement on trademe, only giving out my cellphone (text only), and my email address. Despite saying 'Text Only' on the advertisement, my phone is chocker full of voice messages that I cannot listen to! My conclusion is that most people don't read properly.

Getting a flatmate was much harder than I thought it was going to be. First of all I got a smattering of young people looking for party flats. So I changed the advertisement to cut out those. Finally I started getting older people applying, but even that was not panning out. I often wondered if it was my hearing loss that put them off. But I will never know.

Finally I got someone who was interested. He came round to view the house and talked to me for about 15 minutes. About an hour later he texted me to say he would like the downstairs bedroom, and came back for another 15 minutes chat. He said he'd move in, in a couple of weeks, that he had just sold his house. It seemed the perfect flatmate as he works long long hours, and goes away overseas alot. We shook on it, and he left.

Later in the week I started getting emails from him which I thought a bit unusual. Nothing much - but just 'how are you today' emails. But I was polite and just repled things like 'busy' keeping it short and to the point but not unfriendly. A few days later he asked if he could come around on Sunday night. I thought perhaps he wanted to get to know me as a flatmate a bit better, so said he could. But then he started emailing more and more, and asking if my daughter was going to be home or not. I was starting to get a bit suspicious. When I questioned him, he said he was just wanting to get to know me a bit better so I put my suspicious out of my mind.

My daughter moved out of home on the Sunday morning. I started getting texts from this guy asking if my daughter had moved out yet. I replied yes. A few hours later he started asking if he could stay the night that night. I pointed out that my daughter had taken the bed and there was no where for him to sleep, so wait until he actually moved in properly.

His reply? No - I will sleep in your room thanks.

I replied to him that there is no way he'd be allowed to do that ever, that it was a flatmate position and NOTHING ELSE. No relationship, nothing. I was really angry.

He replied that he didn't want to sleep with me, just lie there with me, and didn't want a relationship.

Oh Man - that is soooooooooooo weird and creepy.

I told him tht I was not interested in him as a flatmate and he would not be moving in. I thought that would be the last of it. But oh no!

Several days went past without me hearing from him, then 2 days before he was due to move in, he started emailing me again. Every 5 minutes. He still wanted to move in. I replied No. He tried again. I replied No - what part of no do you not understand? Then he was emailing me every 5 minutes pleading, offering me free trips to Bangkok, to pay off my mortgage. Texting as well.

I realised then that there was no way out of this, as he had become absolutely fixated on me because I reminded me of his last partner. (that's what he said in an earlier email).

As a totally deaf person, living alone, this was making me feel quite vulnerable. So I rang the police via the internet relay. They got me to put all the emails and texts I had received into an email with the guys contact details. They took it very seriously indeed. They have rung him, and told him if he contacts me again, he will be arrested. They found out that his name wasn't the one he gave me. Which makes me wonder if he targets women living alone advertising in trademe.

Or he could simply have fallen in love with me - you know - my charm, inherent good looks, friendly personality, and maybe my big boobs!!! Or may be he got the wrong idea that I was interested in him simply because I had to stare at his lips to enable me to lipread?

Anyway - he hasn't contacted me again, and I have a lovely flatmate moving in on Thursday.

It's certainly been an eye opener!!!

I'm Still Waiting ......

Waiting for anything is always frustrating, waiting to get some vestige of hearing back because of a slow government department is making me want to scream.



Just to recap - I was originally implanted in March 1993. For 16 years I had near normal hearing with the cochlear implant. In June 2007 my implant failed. In March 2008 I was reimplanted and my old electrode array sent back to Australia for an autopsy. A tear in the silicon was found, which was resulting in fluid ingression and loss of sound. Two months after my reimplantation, the new implant started deteriorating. In October it was found that the electrodes migrated out of the cochlea. I'm now totally utterly deaf. Again.

In New Zealand, we are totally reliant on government funding. No private medical insurance here in New Zealand will cover cochlear implants - we're the only OECD country in the world with private medical companies refusing cover them. Government funding falls into two categories. Either - under the DHB (District Health Board, where all my past funding has come from or if you've lost hearing because of an accident, then ACC (Accident Compensation Coporation) would pay for it.

On looking at my x-ray what looks like has happened is that where the electrode array was anchored, obviously swelled, up, and as the swelling went down, it pulled the array out of the cochlea. This is a rare event, but I'm not the first it has happened to, but I am the first it's happened to in New Zealand.

Because this happened after surgery - then it's termed as a medical injury, and is applicable for funding for it to be fixed under ACC.

My ACC form was duly sent off on the 18th November. On the form I put down that I was deaf and they could contact me via email or text phone. The week before Christmas, I rang them via the internet relay to find out where my case was at. I couldn't get hold of my case manager, so left a message for her to contact me via email. She did later that day and in the email she said she was I glad I contacted her because she had been trying to PHONE me! WTF??? I then realised my case manager knew nothing about deafness.

She told me that my case was still at their resident ENT specialist and they would have an answer for me in early January. I told her then that each passing day could mean scar tissue building in the cochlear, and that would lessen the chance of an successful outcome for me. She told me that I could always go ahead and have everything done, and they would reimburse me later. Oh - really? Sure - and just where do I have the money spare for that I wonder?

On the 6th January I rang via the internet relay to find out where my case was back. She explained that she had JUST got the case back from the resident ENT surgeon, and she has been advised to get an outside independent opinion from a Cochlear Implant surgeon in Christchurch. I bit my tongue, as this is New Zeland we're talking about. We're small. Tiny. All the CI surgeons know each other. However, I don't want my case to go offshore so I didn't say anything.

I rang several times over January each time she had no news as it was still in the hands of the outside independent specialist in Christchurch.

On 6th February emailed her and asked if there was any progress. Oh yes, we have to send it to an outside independent Cochlear Implant surgeon in Christchurch and this was sent off on monday. It will take 3 or 4 weeks, and then it has to go to the legatl team for another 3 or 4 weeks!! WTF? I thought she did that back in January? Checking the emails - yes that is what she had done. I expressed to her that I was really unhappy about this as I don't have time for this. Due process she told me.

I re-iterated that she was playing around with my chances of ever regaining hearing again. Due process she said.

Last week I went to see my MP (Member of Parliament) and told him first of the dire problems of Cochlear Implant funding in New Zealand. I outlined that there are 45 people on the waiting list for surgery right now. That's just in our Northern Cochlear Implant programme. However there are only enough implants for 5 surgeries from July to June 2009/2010 and none after that. That we needed more than a bandaid approach to funding - money being thrown at it in election year, but something more sustainable year in year out. Australia has 5 times our population, yet they fund 6.7x the amount of implants we do. In Australia people get two implants as a matter of course - in New Zealand we can't even get funding for one.

I pointed out that this lack of funding is affecting me. Should ACC turn me down, then I take an implant away from someone else on the waiting list, and for this reason, I have to wait for ACC to say Yay or Nay before a decision is made. Obviously it's in the best interests for everyone concerned to get funding from ACC first so if they do say yes, then our waiting list for implants goes to 44. Not for very long though - as at least 30 people go onto the waiting list per year.

My MP Jonathan Coleman is an ex doctor, so he understood what I was saying. I've met him before when my implant was going well, so the meeting for himm was like chalk and cheese - from near normal hearing to hearing nothing at all. He also understood how tiny the cochlea is and about scar tissue.

He has written a letter to the CEO of ACC asking for my case to be investigated as it's taking too long.

Today I heard that a friend of mine who applied for funding to ACC for his failed implant to be explanted/reimplanted, around the same time/or just after me, has had his funding approved already. Whilst I'm so pleased for him, it makes me all the more frustrated with my case and the length of time it's taking.

I'm still waiting.....

My Brain Keeps Playing Tricks on Me!

Yep - tricks It's constantly testing my sanity!

I can't hear a thing. Nothing. Nada. Not one iota of sound gets through my ears. The degree of deafness was brought home earlier this week when I sat in my lounge completely unaware that my house alarm of 140db was blaring.. And I heard nothing.

But wait! I can hear the waste disposal when I turn it on. Yep - definitely.

Impossible. I'm totally deaf. What gives?

When the waste disposal goes, and I have my hand on the bench, I feel the vibrations. My brain puts in the sound. As I remember it. Take my hand off the bench, and I know longer can feel the vibrations - but Im facing the bench and I can 'see' that the waste disposal is on - I can still hear it. Only when I turn my back totally and the brain can not see or feel, then the brain shuts of the sound.

Weird

This is the same for toilets flushing, the microwave, the washing machine going, the car. You know that whoosh you feel/hear when you are driving on the open road, and a car goes by travelling in the opposite direction. My brain even puts that sound in as well.

When I'm out walking, I still 'hear' traffic sounds, bikes, footsteps of other people, and anything that I'm used to hearing.

I wonder how long I have to be totally deaf, for the brain to stop putting in these phantom sounds?. It can be quite disconcerting as I have to constantly check to see if my hearing has miraculously returned, or whether it's just the brain playing tricks.

It's like my brain has a mind of its own! I have no control over it!

Is My House Alarm Useless?

My house is not only protected with an alarm, but it is also monitored. I sometimes wonder if it's worth having the place monitored, because the alarm has only ever been activated so far, by my cats being locked in a room. Over the years, the cats have cost me a pretty penny in callouts to check the place for burglars. At $60 a pop, this isn't cheap.

When I go out, I have to lock the cats out of the bedroom upstairs, the bedroom downstairs, and the lounge. The problem is that they know when I'm about to go out, and if they don't want to be put outside, they'll hide from me. Or they'll get up someplace really high where I can't reach, above the kitchen cupboards, and nothing will coax them down. Occasionally I've had to go out without setting the alarm because of this.

However, this morning it wasn't the cats, but myself who set the alarm off. I got up at 6.00am this morning, then headed out to meet my friend for an hours brisk walk and set the alarm as I went out the door.

Came home and totally forgot that I had set it. Walked into my lounge and logged in to my emails. Totally unaware that my alarm was now blaring at 140db telling everyone that my house had been broken into. Just shows you how deaf I am at the moment. Totally, utterly!

Half an hour later, the security guy comes round to find me sitting in the lounge totally unaware of anything and wondering why he was visiting!

This little episode just cost me $60. Gah!

When the cochlear implant works, I can hear the beep beep warning that the alarm is about to go off which galvanises me into action. Now I have no clues at all.

So - is it worth having my house monitored? So far no one has bothered to break into my place, maybe an alarm that is unmonitored is all I need. The security guy turns up half an hour after the alarm goes off - any burglars would still have had plenty of time to grab and take off with everything before he turns up.

Makes me wonder if monitoring is worth it at all.

What do you think?

Total Deafness Brings out my Evil Streak

I'm now totally deaf. I hear nothing. Nada. My cochlear implant processor has been relegated to a drawer until I can be reimplanted. This is not America where I can dial up private health insurance to get it done quickly - no private health insurance will touch anything to do with ears with a 10 foot barge pole. It makes me wonder if they think helping deafness is like cosmetic surgery. Ear job, boob job?

Instead I'm reliant on a Government Department to fund my reimplantation. I'm sure that Government Departments are the same world over, and work at one pace. Slow. Stifled with red tape and bureaucracy. New Zealand is no different.

Anyway. Being thrown into total deafness has its moments. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I laugh. I saw pity in the mans eyes at the supermarket. He stopped to help me pick out the best tomatoes - nice dear old man. He had a beard and tried to talk to me. I couldn't lipread him, so I pointed to my ears and told him I'm completely deaf. I didn't apologise for it. HIs eyes changed and I could see pity. But it's not pity I want. It's understanding. Go and shave off your moustache and beard, then try talking to me again.

Being totally deaf brings out my evil streak. I would like nothing better than to play a practical joke. You know those places that advertise free hearing tests? Oh how I would love to turn up there.

'I think my hearing has gone down a bit - could I sign up for a free hearing test'

And when they start testing...

'Have you started the test yet?'

'I think your equipment is malfunctioning'

'I can't hear I can't hear'!!

However, I can't bring myself to be this mean - I can only think about it. However if one of my friends knew an audiologist and wanted me to play a practical joke on them, I'd sign up straight away! But I couldn't be mean to stranger. Not today anyway.

Besides knowing my luck, I'd get one that didn't have a sense of humour!! So far I've only met a couple of audiologists that have my sense of humour. But I guess that's not so surprising as my humour is a bit out there!

It's Official!

It’s now official. I’m have just been diagnosed with depression for the first time in my life. Simply because of the frustration I’m having with lack of hearing, and lack of action in terms of ACC funding my new implant.

The hearing loss I’m dealing with is huge compared to when my original implant was up and working properly, and I haven’t really heard properly except for a very brief window in 2008, for 18 months…. Going on 19 months but who’s counting?

ACC sent me a email yesterday apologizing for the delay, explaining that it was a very ‘complex’ case, and they’ve now been advised to get an outside ‘independent’ opinion, so they have sent my case notes to Christchurch in the South Island to an ‘independent Cochlear Implant surgeon’. This is quite laughable as we’re not exactly a BIG country, and the implant surgeons in NZ is a very small club (boys network!!)

As for complex – I think they’re making it more complex than it needs to be. The electrodes have come out of the cochlea. They need to be put back in, maybe with new electrodes. What is complex about that?

They’ve given the surgeon 4 weeks to complete his report, and then it goes to their legal team which could be another 4 weeks. So I’m going to be profoundly/totally deaf for at least another 2 months.

Yes I’ve written to ACC and explained my case and displeasure of waiting so long – they’ve apologized but said there’s nothing they can do. I *can* go ahead with the surgery, pay for it myself, and they’ll reimburse me IF they accept the claim. That’s fine and dandy if I had some spare change in my pocket to the tune for $30k – but I don’t, and I resent the fact they think I might have!

I guess it’s because I’m the first person in NZ where electrodes have migrated out of the cochlear, so there’s some research for them to do, and some I dotting and t crossing! But in the process, they’ve forgotten that there’s a real person out there, struggling to cope with day to day hearing and living because of it.

My doc has put me on a low dose anti depressant. She’s been my doc since I was 17, and said it was admirable how I’ve overcome many struggles throughout my life, and that my mood has always been stable and happy. But it looks like this is one thing too much. She’s also concerned how I might feel if the operation doesn’t work, so hopefully by then the pills will be working and will help me through that process should the worse happen. Naturally, once things start moving and I get a date, I’ll probably be much happier, and if the switch on goes well and I hear again, then I can be weaned off the pills.

I took my first one this morning. I hate taking pills, but I have been warned that depression can spiral down further if not treated. I know I feel this way because I have no control over what is happening to me, and the doctor says that’s one of the main causes of depression – lack of control over things that are happening in your life.

A friend asked me to make sure I remember all the things I’m grateful for – so I’ll list some of them here.

I’m grateful for friends and family and their support

I’m grateful for the support I can get from SWC

I’m grateful for my bra because they stop me from tripping up over my boobs when knock against my knees, and stop me from getting black eyes when I’m out running!\

I’m grateful for my fantastic implant team even though they can't do a lot for me right now!

I’m grateful I still have a sense of humour even when I feel so sad.

I’m grateful for my cats who give my unconditional kisses, particularly when I’m whistling or singing!!! (Yep they’re actually trying to shut me up)

There – Now I’ll go and eat some more icecream and chocolate.

I'm So Over Being Deaf

I'm seriously no longer coping with this whole deafness issue. I managed to get through Christmas, but New Year totally sucked. I was meant to go up to my brothers place for afternoon tea on New Years Eve, but I couldn't get off the couch and face yet another afternoon sitting around with a plastic smile on my face, understanding nothing, and wishing to go home. Yet staying at home did me no good either. I ended up crying all day.

We're now 5 days into 2009 and I'm still not happy. Although I'm making an effort. I organised a picnic with friends and family yesterday and we sat in the sun in the park at the beach and had a great time. I've invited friends around tonight for a champagne, so I'm not just sitting around doing nothing, although I AM avoiding people as much as I can.

Over christmas the implant became very uncomfortable again, so today, when the implant centre opened after christmas, I went over to see if they could tweak the last remaining electrodes so I can hear comfortably as an aid to lipreading. The result was dismal. One electrode had to be switched off so I'm now down to five, and the others had to be turned right down as they were uncomfortable. The impedance test showed major changes, but Ellen thinks that could be because I'm not wearing the implant as much as I should.

To give you a recap...

In march 2008, not even one year ago, I was reimplanted as my old first implant I had failed. On doing the autopsy, they found a tear in the silicon, so there was fluid ingression, which meant the electrodes couldn't work.

The new implant showed great promise... Take a look at the map just one week post switch on...

From The Ambling Rambler

And you can read about it in the blog I did back in April 2008

I got to that stage, then slowly slowly electrodes had to be switched off and I heard less and less. An x-ray showed that the electrodes had been pulled out of the cochlea. Today? This is what my mapped looked like...



As you can see, the two maps are vastly different, with the first one giving me a very broad specrum of sound with a great dynamic range, to virtually no dynamic range and only a small proportion of sound. With this latest map, I only hear a fraction of what I heard with my first implant, and a fraction of what I first heard with my implant at switch on in 2008. I recognise no sound. Voice is totally muffled. It's now been 18 months since I heard properly.

I am going to be reimplanted. My fate is at the hands of ACC or Accident Compensation Corporation. I have just heard today they are required to get 2 more pieces of information: the advice of an independent CI / ORL surgeon and the legal advisor. They've already had my application for 2 months. I had hoped that they would give me an answer before Christmas. I should have realised that Government Departments only work at one speed - S L O W.

It's enough to drive a girl to chocolate, champagne and icecream. All three I bought on the way home from my mapping session today. If that doesn't cheer me up, then there is no hope!!!

Frustrated

I'm so frustrated. I can't hear squat. It's been 6 weeks since we applied for funding for reimplantation to our group ACC (Accident Compensation Corporation). I had hoped that they would have got hold of me before Christmas to tell me that they had approved of funding. This way I would know that I would be having my operation sometime in January - but no - I had heard nothing.

So this morning I hopped on internet relay and rang them. After giving them my claim number, my address, my date of birth, my two phone numbers, they then finally ascertained that they were speaking to the right person, albeit through the relay.

I spoke to the case manager's secretary at first, and she finally conceded I needed to the actual case manager. However, the case manager is unavailable 'Could she phone you back?" she asked.

"Well thats the whole point of my claim - I'm DEAF and I can't HEAR on the phone". I gave her my email address and she said the case manager would get back to me with where my claim was at.

A few hours later I got a message...


Dear Robyn

Thankyou for your phone call to ACC.

I am sorry that I have not been in contact with you earlier, but I did try to phone you. It is great we now have email contct.

We are now seeking medical advise to clarify whether your injury is due to your underlying hearing loss or whether in fact this is a new injury.

For an ACC treatment injury claim to be considered for cover the first thing we need to establish is that there is a new physical injury.

The medical advice should be back by early January. I will update you by email once I have this advice.

I hope this answers your questions.


Actually, it answers my questions just fine, however, it makes me really spitting angry.

For one, I've already put on the form that I sent in 'Can't hear on the phone as I'm totally deaf' and I gave them both my txt phone number and my eamil address. And she phoned me! Well. I'm flabbergasted.

And now they're trying to get medical advice to see if my injury is new, rather than my underlying hearing loss? Oh man - come on - how can my underlying hearing loss push out the electrode array? If they knew how stupid that sounded I'm sure they would be embarrased.

I then write long email to them explaining that the longer they push out this process, the higher the chance scar tissue will form in the cochlea and I will be unable to have a successful implant.

She replied that they were doing it as fast as they can. 6 weeks? I dont' think so.

I have a really bad feeling about this. I can't help it - but I have a funny feeling ACC will turn me down, simply because they really don't understand what is needed.

Yes - I'm feeling sorry for myself. It's now been over 18 months since I heard properly. I'm frustrated, and I'm sick of people who truly don't understand how little I hear. And I still have Christmas to get through.

It makes me wonder if I'll ever hear propery again But I guess I can't expect much more from a Government Department.

October Implant Update

I've been having more problems with my implant. When I was switched on in early April, it showed such promise. I had 17 out of 22 electrodes working. My test scores for listening without lipreading were 94%, which was so exciting, as back then - as I would get used to the new sounds, it would improve. How wrong I was.

Nearly very month, I've had an electrode switched off. What would happen is that I would be remapped. Then a week or two after a remap, I would notice twitching sensations in various parts of my head. In my temple, or the back of my nose, or in the back of my throat. When this was tested, I would hear very little from it, and even scaling back the volume didn't stop the twitching sensations. So one by one the were turned off. I got down to 14 electrodes.

We decided to try the CIS speech strategy - a higher stimulation rate and often used for partial insertions. This uses 12 electrodes only and for the last 2 or 3 weeks I've been using this. It seemed quite promising as I was getting a better sound - less nasally than it was, but still there, but still not enough clarity for the phone or TV.

Then last week I noticed that a bird sits and chirps outside my window from about 3 to 5pm every day. And I noticed that ever time it chirped, I got a painful sensation from it. So I knew immediately that i was going to lose yet another electrode.

I asked for another appointment, and also asked if I could have an x-ray to make sure no elecgtrodes have somehow moved out of the cochlear. Highly unlikely but for peace of mind, needed doing. I'm still waiting for the results.

My appointment was today. Sure enough - another electrode was twitching in my temple and has been turned off. I live in hope that this will get rid of the painful bird chirps, as I don't think guns in urban areas go down very well! (I've told my cats but they've turned a deaf ear!!)

We wondered about going back to SPEAK - the lower stimulation rate speech strategy at 250hz which I had for 16 years with my old implant before it failed. We wondered if I was simply not coping with the high stimulation rate. So - a new map with the SPEAK strategy was done. It's on Monopolar, and I have a total of 13 electrodes. (It would have been 14 if I hadn't lost that other one today).

Because that electrode still twitched even on the lower stimulation rate, then I suspect it's not the actual stimulation rate that is causing it. We shall see.

A recap on stimulation rates - SPEAK is 250 hz, ACE is 900 hz, and CIS is 1100. with this new implant I was originally switched on with ACE, and recentl went to CIS. Now Im back with SPEAK.

Going back to SPEAK is like being switched on all over again, like I was 16 years ago in 1993. The sound is awful. My voice souds like it's in harmony, but very out of tune harmony. Like my voice has separated somehow and is two voices in one. People sound like they're talking in buckets, very dalek sounding like from Dr Who or robotic sounds. I had this when I was originally switched on in 1993, however it righted itself ver quickly - within 24 hours. It will be interesting to see how long it tkes me to get used to it this time round.

The good thing about SPEAK for me, with the higher stimultion ACE & CIS, the first six electrodes (low tones) were perfect - ver beautiful sound. The next six were very quiet, and they simply wouldn't go up much in volume at all. Basically the top six electrodes sounded totally crap. With SPEAK, all 13 electrodes are now the same loudness, and it's much more even sound quality. It's also tripled m battery lifed from 33 to 91 hours.

I am just so frustrated though. Sometimes I feel like sticking the processor in the drawer and giving up. I've come so close to that several times. A shrug of my shoulder, and I think 'oh well - my CI days are over'. Then a few hours will pass, or I'll get a good sleep, and I realise that no, it's too early to give up yet, especially while i have some sound If it was good at switchon, there must be a way to improve it again somehow.

So once again, I'm on DAY One of a new implant. This time with a new speech strategy to learn sound all over again.

Watch this space...

There are good people out there!

I've just put my house on the market. It's going to be listed next week, but before it lists it has to be A1 perfect, so I can get the best price for it.

My house was built only 9 years ago, and I had a lot of input into the planning of it, so it's gut wrenching to sell, but I have new plans afoot. Because the house is only 9 years old, there's not a lot that needs to be doing.

I have to paint the surrounds of the bath as 9 years ago I couldn't decide whether to paint around the bath, or tile it. 9 years later I was still undecided, and now it's on the market I've decided to do the cheaper option - paint!

There's a couple of holes in the wall that need fixing - they're now pollyfilled, but just need painting. And no - I didn't lose my temper - the TV fell off it's perch and crashed down, put a hole in the wall, and the TV disintegrated. Replacement insurance is a wonderful thing!

I also need to paint the surround around the garage door, as that's another job I never got around to 9 years ago. I've already pollyfilled hte nail holes and put the sealant on, and am now waiting for the weather to improve so I can paint that.

Lastly, the little piece of wood/melteca in my kitchen that goes under the oven, is completely ruined, so I got someone to wrench it off. I took it into placemakers yesterday to see if they could do me another piece by next Tuesday. It's not big - just 690 x 78mm. But no - they couldn't do it until 17 Oct and I need it by the 13th.

So this morning I got out the yellow pages, looked under Kitchen Designs and rang the first number..

The person answered, and I told them who I was and what I needed and asked if they could do this for me.

I heard clearly 'No, but if you were to ring xxxx they would be able to"

I explained I was deaf so they tried to repeat the name but I just couldn't get it - it was a single syllable word and to me it sounded like Save. She did tell me it was in the yellowpages of the phone book, so I said - I'd keep phoning through until I found someone to help.

So far so good. I had made a phone call and ascertained that they couldn't help but there 'may' be others out there that can.

Back to the Yellowpages, and I specifically looked for someone in my area as I dind't want to travel far to pick it up. Found a small ad, and rang.

There was NO way I could hear anything this person said at all. So once again I explained what I needed, explained that I was deaf, and asked him to just say yes or no if he could help. He said Yes (yay!). There was an email address listed in the yellow pages and I asked if this was it, he said no, but there was no way I could understand what it should be, so instead i gave him mine and asked him to email me.

Which he did.

I immediately emailed and thanked him and explained what I needed.

I would like to give a virtual award to Bob at Designa Kitchen and Cabinetry in Auckland, for going out of his way to help. He must be the best Customer Service person in New Zealand!

Cheers
Robyn

What on Earth is going on???

It used to be that I could head down to my local video store and hire just about any DVD to watch, and it would be captioned or subtitled. A few wouldn't be, but they would be mainly New Zealand movies. New Zealand doesn't have the law like the ADA (American Disabilities Act), so they don't legally have to put captions or subtitles on any of theirs. I believe NZ movies are good, but I wouldn't know as they deny me the ability to watch them.

I haven't hired any movies for a while, for a multitude of reasons. I'm saving my pennies, I've been busy, I've been away. However, I have come down with a terrible flu that is going around, and have no energy for anything much, so thought I would head down to the local video store (3 min walk) and hire some for me to watch on Thursday night.

I got two - Gone baby Gone, and Not My Life.

Gone Baby Gone was okay - it was captioned or subtitled, but the dvd was so scratched I couldn't see the end of it. So I put Not my Life in the player. It wasn't subtitled. thats okay - I will watch it anyway and hopefully lipread and pick up some sound. Useless. After half an hour of watching I realised I hadn't picked up one single word.

Back to the video store. I explained the problem and they said it no problem. Told me I could come back and get two more new release DVD's on saturday to watch when I had more time

Saturday - I still have the flu badly so walked down to the store and browsed the store. Every DVD movie I was interested in, I would turn over to look for subtitles - and they would have none. In fact - MORE DVD's were without captions or subtitles than those with.

It took me over half an hour to find two - Deception and Cloverfield that had captions- Deception was okay, Cloverfield was shit.

Anyway - what on earth is going on? - are the Video stores trying to cut costs by hiring cheap movies that have removed or taken the subtitles off?

I'm angry about this as I don't go to the movies - I wait until it's out on DVD so I can 'hear' them with captions, but now it seems even that choice has been taken away from me. I've left my email address at the store and have asked the manager to contact me. I will head up to another big video store not in my area to see if the same thing is happening there, or whether it's just my store. Regardless, it looks like I've got some serious lobbying to do, and it's days like this I wish we did have the ADA.

Implant Update - There's a worm in my head!!

It's nearly been six months with my new implant now. I have to tell you all I'm still struggling with it. How I long for the days of easy hearing I had with my old implant before it failed on me. Where nothing was a struggle. Where I could pick up the phone and ring my girlfriends for a laugh and natter. Where I could deal with marketing phone calls swiftly and with precision and confidence.

Instead, I still rely on slow sms text messaging, email and MSN for the bulk of my communication needs, and I quiver in fear when the phone rings. Occasionally I'll overcome that fear and answer it, to find unintelligible speech trying to tell me something. I finally get some understanding by asking questions...

"Are you trying to sell me something?"

"babble babble babble"

"Slow down - I'm deaf and i don't understand what you are saying - do you know me?"

'babble babble babble"

Obviously not -as if they did they would know how to speak with me so I can hear. So the phone gets slammed down and I get angry and upset because I didn't handle that at all.

Last week I had one who I got some things, but not others - they asked if I could ring back. Sure I said, but I would still be deaf when they did! Stupid people drive me nuts these days.

My daughter came round last week and answered the phone for me while she was here. It was yet another marketing person who wanted to speak with me. Once again it took three times before she could get to them to understand what deaf means - I could go on and on about the stupidity of people who work for sales and marketing - but this isn't the purpose of this post.

While I was travelling around America, I noticed my speech perception had got worse. I thought I also might have a worm in my nose or throat as I could feel something moving at the back of there every now and then. I had visions of my ENT surgeon pulling out something alive from there while I was seated in his chair. They weren't nice visions by any means. He once told me his worse find was maggots in someone's ears, so I guess I wondered if I had maggots growing at the back of my throat after eating something strange while on my travels.

Once I got back to NZ, I went straight in for a remap as I could hear very little. On testing each electrode we found one that was stimulating nerves surrounding the cochlea but not the hearing nerve. During testing it gave me a movement at the back of the throat and nose, and in my temple. ah ha! It was not giving me any useable sound - so it was switched off. The Maggot or worm was gone. I'm sure my ENT surgeon will be relieved as much as I was!!

After everything was tweaked, and that electrode switched off, there was a slight improvement, but not enough for me to be enthusiastic about it. I went home and got my new apple iPod going, put hundreds of songs on it, and proceeded to start to listen to music again. When I got to one of my favourite songs - Blondies Heart of Glass, the worm was back, but this time it was making my asthma worse as well. I just thought I had asthma again after four years, as it had started again while travelling around the USA. I thought it was from the smoke and pollution up that way. However, when listening to the iPod I noticee the asthma was worse especially when I was listening to particular songs.

I realised that Asthma is not usually music related, and as I had a movement at the back of my throat, nose and in my temple again, I realised that another electrode possibly needed switching off. Isn't it great that one learns things through experience??? So back off to the implant centre where I had a great session. And yes - one more electrode was switched off. The asthma disappeared completely, straight away, and the worms and maggots died once again. However, that's not leaving me with a hell of a lot of electrodes to choose from, because the first six weren't able to be inserted due to scar tissue

Ellen then changed me over to a new speech strategy - I'm now on CIS which has a faster stimulation rate, and works slightly differently - turns on all the electrodes at once, instead of finding the one thats best for the sound. My poor old brain then has to get used to figuring all the sounds out. However, this strategy only uses 12 electrodes, and is used mostly for partial insertions (which is me anyway).

So far so good - I've heard much better, not asking people to repeat so much. The twang and nasally sound, although not completely gone, has lessened with this speech strategy.

I do remember about 5 years ago, I was in hospital once, and bored, so I started listening to my radio via a personal audio cable. When I started, I could hardly get any words at all. By the end of my hospital stay, I missed virtually nothing. That particular radio was long dead as it had been dropped too many times. (I won't tell you how long I was in there!!)

Yesterday I went out and bought a new radio, and plugged myself in. I want to be able to learn to listen again, and maybe, just maybe, if I practise listening to talking on the radio, I just may improve my hearing once again and get somewhere close to what i once had, maybe never as good as I once was, as I don't have the same number of electrodes, but it would be good if I could be better than now. And nothing comes without practise right? Not even sex!!!

I started listening last night for the first time. I was really really surprised at how much I could hear. In fact, I didn't miss much at all (so how come I can't hear on the phone??) But I did notice that there were some more worms at the back of my throat while listening! I haven't felt them today with normal sounds around the house, so I'll test it again later this afternoon. I truly hope I don't lose any more electrodes.

The autopsy results on my old implant is back. A small tear in the silicon was found, so it was definitely faulty. How the tear got there I have no idea, but I guess like everything, things wear out over time, like me! It was 16 years old and the newer implants have been improved. Lets hope I get 32 years out of this one, which will see me to the age of 77, and then I won't need to hear anyway as I probably won't make much sense then!!

It was nice to know that there was something definitely wrong with the implant though, and that it wasn't all in my imagination.

Off to listen to some political drivel on the radio now. If I can understand that, then I know I'm doing well!