Thursday, January 22, 2009

My Brain Keeps Playing Tricks on Me!

Yep - tricks It's constantly testing my sanity!

I can't hear a thing. Nothing. Nada. Not one iota of sound gets through my ears. The degree of deafness was brought home earlier this week when I sat in my lounge completely unaware that my house alarm of 140db was blaring.. And I heard nothing.

But wait! I can hear the waste disposal when I turn it on. Yep - definitely.

Impossible. I'm totally deaf. What gives?

When the waste disposal goes, and I have my hand on the bench, I feel the vibrations. My brain puts in the sound. As I remember it. Take my hand off the bench, and I know longer can feel the vibrations - but Im facing the bench and I can 'see' that the waste disposal is on - I can still hear it. Only when I turn my back totally and the brain can not see or feel, then the brain shuts of the sound.


This is the same for toilets flushing, the microwave, the washing machine going, the car. You know that whoosh you feel/hear when you are driving on the open road, and a car goes by travelling in the opposite direction. My brain even puts that sound in as well.

When I'm out walking, I still 'hear' traffic sounds, bikes, footsteps of other people, and anything that I'm used to hearing.

I wonder how long I have to be totally deaf, for the brain to stop putting in these phantom sounds?. It can be quite disconcerting as I have to constantly check to see if my hearing has miraculously returned, or whether it's just the brain playing tricks.

It's like my brain has a mind of its own! I have no control over it!


Der Sankt said...

Could be phantoms...

could be a miracle!

who knows ;)


Dave said...

As you well know Robyn, the brain is amazing. I think it was you who turned me on to the auditory hallucination subject. Before my CI and in my total and profound silence, I heard incredible sounds all the time.
I think you told me about a book by Oliver Sacs on the subject

Anonymous said...

The Mind is an incredible organ. I don't trust mine!


Sam said...

It's amazing isn't it!! I swear that I sometimes hear stuff when I can't possibly - i.e. there is a closed window between me and the sound.

MM said...

There is nothing weird or 'phantom' about it Robyn. Many of us have similar experiences of 'hearing'. It is NOT imagined, I think the key here is in formative memories when we had some hearing, I can get almost TOTAL recall on a tune or voice that I heard before I went deaf, including instrumentals and individual parts of it via the instrument (Actually better than I recall as I was hearing at times !).. Inherent memory.

We know what traffic sounded like, how a dog barked, it's all stored away, and when input is lacking the old brain tries to bring it back for us. Is this good or bad ? reminding us what we missed ? Personally I find it a huge comfort. Albeit we can stuck in the past about it.... because we heard nothing new for years. (I don't because I have no CI).

I'm actually a bit glad I cannot hear some current music, because the lyrics look very childish, so I imagine either the music is great, or absolutely abysmal, my hearing relatives agree with the latter so... :)

If it has poor lyrics, and is a top hit, that means usually the music is good, (God I hope so, or has it got worse)... ? :)

Anonymous said...

To Dave

Curious...when did you get


Laura's medical journey said...

i felt that way when i lost my implant too and before i got reimplanted. i also think i hear things when i take my cochlear implant such as when im in the bath and i think i hear water but its impossible!

Morgan said...

Isn't that amazing. I think a huge amount of what we experience in life is actually made up by our brains. It sort of does something once then memorizes it to save processing power or something. Supposedly whenever you eat something half of the taste is what your brain remembers from last time. I remember learning that in 5th form science (gee I must have been awake in at least one class then!)