I've been advertising for flatmate. You know the story, recession, hard times, need something to help pay the mortgage. I really didn't want another student, as now that my daughter has left home, I'm ready to kick up my heels, and don't want to be tied down cooking meals for people every night of the week.
As I'm totally deaf now, and can no longer use a phone, I got my daughter to help me put up an advertisement on trademe, only giving out my cellphone (text only), and my email address. Despite saying 'Text Only' on the advertisement, my phone is chocker full of voice messages that I cannot listen to! My conclusion is that most people don't read properly.
Getting a flatmate was much harder than I thought it was going to be. First of all I got a smattering of young people looking for party flats. So I changed the advertisement to cut out those. Finally I started getting older people applying, but even that was not panning out. I often wondered if it was my hearing loss that put them off. But I will never know.
Finally I got someone who was interested. He came round to view the house and talked to me for about 15 minutes. About an hour later he texted me to say he would like the downstairs bedroom, and came back for another 15 minutes chat. He said he'd move in, in a couple of weeks, that he had just sold his house. It seemed the perfect flatmate as he works long long hours, and goes away overseas alot. We shook on it, and he left.
Later in the week I started getting emails from him which I thought a bit unusual. Nothing much - but just 'how are you today' emails. But I was polite and just repled things like 'busy' keeping it short and to the point but not unfriendly. A few days later he asked if he could come around on Sunday night. I thought perhaps he wanted to get to know me as a flatmate a bit better, so said he could. But then he started emailing more and more, and asking if my daughter was going to be home or not. I was starting to get a bit suspicious. When I questioned him, he said he was just wanting to get to know me a bit better so I put my suspicious out of my mind.
My daughter moved out of home on the Sunday morning. I started getting texts from this guy asking if my daughter had moved out yet. I replied yes. A few hours later he started asking if he could stay the night that night. I pointed out that my daughter had taken the bed and there was no where for him to sleep, so wait until he actually moved in properly.
His reply? No - I will sleep in your room thanks.
I replied to him that there is no way he'd be allowed to do that ever, that it was a flatmate position and NOTHING ELSE. No relationship, nothing. I was really angry.
He replied that he didn't want to sleep with me, just lie there with me, and didn't want a relationship.
Oh Man - that is soooooooooooo weird and creepy.
I told him tht I was not interested in him as a flatmate and he would not be moving in. I thought that would be the last of it. But oh no!
Several days went past without me hearing from him, then 2 days before he was due to move in, he started emailing me again. Every 5 minutes. He still wanted to move in. I replied No. He tried again. I replied No - what part of no do you not understand? Then he was emailing me every 5 minutes pleading, offering me free trips to Bangkok, to pay off my mortgage. Texting as well.
I realised then that there was no way out of this, as he had become absolutely fixated on me because I reminded me of his last partner. (that's what he said in an earlier email).
As a totally deaf person, living alone, this was making me feel quite vulnerable. So I rang the police via the internet relay. They got me to put all the emails and texts I had received into an email with the guys contact details. They took it very seriously indeed. They have rung him, and told him if he contacts me again, he will be arrested. They found out that his name wasn't the one he gave me. Which makes me wonder if he targets women living alone advertising in trademe.
Or he could simply have fallen in love with me - you know - my charm, inherent good looks, friendly personality, and maybe my big boobs!!! Or may be he got the wrong idea that I was interested in him simply because I had to stare at his lips to enable me to lipread?
Anyway - he hasn't contacted me again, and I have a lovely flatmate moving in on Thursday.
It's certainly been an eye opener!!!