Sunday, September 28, 2008

What on Earth is going on???

It used to be that I could head down to my local video store and hire just about any DVD to watch, and it would be captioned or subtitled. A few wouldn't be, but they would be mainly New Zealand movies. New Zealand doesn't have the law like the ADA (American Disabilities Act), so they don't legally have to put captions or subtitles on any of theirs. I believe NZ movies are good, but I wouldn't know as they deny me the ability to watch them.

I haven't hired any movies for a while, for a multitude of reasons. I'm saving my pennies, I've been busy, I've been away. However, I have come down with a terrible flu that is going around, and have no energy for anything much, so thought I would head down to the local video store (3 min walk) and hire some for me to watch on Thursday night.

I got two - Gone baby Gone, and Not My Life.

Gone Baby Gone was okay - it was captioned or subtitled, but the dvd was so scratched I couldn't see the end of it. So I put Not my Life in the player. It wasn't subtitled. thats okay - I will watch it anyway and hopefully lipread and pick up some sound. Useless. After half an hour of watching I realised I hadn't picked up one single word.

Back to the video store. I explained the problem and they said it no problem. Told me I could come back and get two more new release DVD's on saturday to watch when I had more time

Saturday - I still have the flu badly so walked down to the store and browsed the store. Every DVD movie I was interested in, I would turn over to look for subtitles - and they would have none. In fact - MORE DVD's were without captions or subtitles than those with.

It took me over half an hour to find two - Deception and Cloverfield that had captions- Deception was okay, Cloverfield was shit.

Anyway - what on earth is going on? - are the Video stores trying to cut costs by hiring cheap movies that have removed or taken the subtitles off?

I'm angry about this as I don't go to the movies - I wait until it's out on DVD so I can 'hear' them with captions, but now it seems even that choice has been taken away from me. I've left my email address at the store and have asked the manager to contact me. I will head up to another big video store not in my area to see if the same thing is happening there, or whether it's just my store. Regardless, it looks like I've got some serious lobbying to do, and it's days like this I wish we did have the ADA.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Implant Update - There's a worm in my head!!

It's nearly been six months with my new implant now. I have to tell you all I'm still struggling with it. How I long for the days of easy hearing I had with my old implant before it failed on me. Where nothing was a struggle. Where I could pick up the phone and ring my girlfriends for a laugh and natter. Where I could deal with marketing phone calls swiftly and with precision and confidence.

Instead, I still rely on slow sms text messaging, email and MSN for the bulk of my communication needs, and I quiver in fear when the phone rings. Occasionally I'll overcome that fear and answer it, to find unintelligible speech trying to tell me something. I finally get some understanding by asking questions...

"Are you trying to sell me something?"

"babble babble babble"

"Slow down - I'm deaf and i don't understand what you are saying - do you know me?"

'babble babble babble"

Obviously not -as if they did they would know how to speak with me so I can hear. So the phone gets slammed down and I get angry and upset because I didn't handle that at all.

Last week I had one who I got some things, but not others - they asked if I could ring back. Sure I said, but I would still be deaf when they did! Stupid people drive me nuts these days.

My daughter came round last week and answered the phone for me while she was here. It was yet another marketing person who wanted to speak with me. Once again it took three times before she could get to them to understand what deaf means - I could go on and on about the stupidity of people who work for sales and marketing - but this isn't the purpose of this post.

While I was travelling around America, I noticed my speech perception had got worse. I thought I also might have a worm in my nose or throat as I could feel something moving at the back of there every now and then. I had visions of my ENT surgeon pulling out something alive from there while I was seated in his chair. They weren't nice visions by any means. He once told me his worse find was maggots in someone's ears, so I guess I wondered if I had maggots growing at the back of my throat after eating something strange while on my travels.

Once I got back to NZ, I went straight in for a remap as I could hear very little. On testing each electrode we found one that was stimulating nerves surrounding the cochlea but not the hearing nerve. During testing it gave me a movement at the back of the throat and nose, and in my temple. ah ha! It was not giving me any useable sound - so it was switched off. The Maggot or worm was gone. I'm sure my ENT surgeon will be relieved as much as I was!!

After everything was tweaked, and that electrode switched off, there was a slight improvement, but not enough for me to be enthusiastic about it. I went home and got my new apple iPod going, put hundreds of songs on it, and proceeded to start to listen to music again. When I got to one of my favourite songs - Blondies Heart of Glass, the worm was back, but this time it was making my asthma worse as well. I just thought I had asthma again after four years, as it had started again while travelling around the USA. I thought it was from the smoke and pollution up that way. However, when listening to the iPod I noticee the asthma was worse especially when I was listening to particular songs.

I realised that Asthma is not usually music related, and as I had a movement at the back of my throat, nose and in my temple again, I realised that another electrode possibly needed switching off. Isn't it great that one learns things through experience??? So back off to the implant centre where I had a great session. And yes - one more electrode was switched off. The asthma disappeared completely, straight away, and the worms and maggots died once again. However, that's not leaving me with a hell of a lot of electrodes to choose from, because the first six weren't able to be inserted due to scar tissue

Ellen then changed me over to a new speech strategy - I'm now on CIS which has a faster stimulation rate, and works slightly differently - turns on all the electrodes at once, instead of finding the one thats best for the sound. My poor old brain then has to get used to figuring all the sounds out. However, this strategy only uses 12 electrodes, and is used mostly for partial insertions (which is me anyway).

So far so good - I've heard much better, not asking people to repeat so much. The twang and nasally sound, although not completely gone, has lessened with this speech strategy.

I do remember about 5 years ago, I was in hospital once, and bored, so I started listening to my radio via a personal audio cable. When I started, I could hardly get any words at all. By the end of my hospital stay, I missed virtually nothing. That particular radio was long dead as it had been dropped too many times. (I won't tell you how long I was in there!!)

Yesterday I went out and bought a new radio, and plugged myself in. I want to be able to learn to listen again, and maybe, just maybe, if I practise listening to talking on the radio, I just may improve my hearing once again and get somewhere close to what i once had, maybe never as good as I once was, as I don't have the same number of electrodes, but it would be good if I could be better than now. And nothing comes without practise right? Not even sex!!!

I started listening last night for the first time. I was really really surprised at how much I could hear. In fact, I didn't miss much at all (so how come I can't hear on the phone??) But I did notice that there were some more worms at the back of my throat while listening! I haven't felt them today with normal sounds around the house, so I'll test it again later this afternoon. I truly hope I don't lose any more electrodes.

The autopsy results on my old implant is back. A small tear in the silicon was found, so it was definitely faulty. How the tear got there I have no idea, but I guess like everything, things wear out over time, like me! It was 16 years old and the newer implants have been improved. Lets hope I get 32 years out of this one, which will see me to the age of 77, and then I won't need to hear anyway as I probably won't make much sense then!!

It was nice to know that there was something definitely wrong with the implant though, and that it wasn't all in my imagination.

Off to listen to some political drivel on the radio now. If I can understand that, then I know I'm doing well!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Behind the Wire


Behind the Wire


Behind the wire beauty lies
I see children at play skipping rope
Their mother looks down from the window above
Her heart filled with love and hope

The garden is green, full of flowers,
The birds frequent there every day,
The neighbourhood is bustling and the sun shines upon,
The children, innocent, at play

The building is painted bright colours,
Bright murals adorn the stone wall
Painted with love by those who live there,
The children had painted them all

Music is heard through the open window,
Followed by the mother in song,
The children who know every word,
Begin to sing along

On the surface the song sounds uplifting,
On the surface the words appear glad,
But if you listen closely you will notice,
That the message conveyed's in fact sad

I no longer can see children playing,
Hear singing, or see walls coloured bright,
Instead I can only hear a mother's praying,
For her children who died in the fight

The garden is taken over by weed and rubble,
And through the wire graffiti is splayed
As cold as the cold stone walls
Where once, happiness was displayed

But amidst the trail of destruction,
Behind the wire three red poppies stand tall,
Restoring hope to a new generation,
And love, within its walls

Poem by Lia Bell
Image by Robyn Carter

I recently uploaded an image to my photoblog, which inspired a good friend of mine to write this poem. I think it's a fantastic and goes with the image perfectly. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Deafness and Photography

Someone asked me recently whether I would be so keen on photography if I had perfect hearing. I found it rather hard to answer that question as I've been deaf all my life and have never had perfect hearing. We all do things in life, the things that shape us, through our own experiences, some that aren't of our choosing, and we all tend to bend towards those that we are good at or are easy for us. If we have some sort of ability for something in the first place, then we tend to hone in on that ability and perfect it.

I'd like to think that I would still be involved in photography if I wasn't deaf, but I can't help think that if I had hearing, my life woud be totally different to what it is now. If I were hearing I'd probably have a university degree, married with 8 kids, living overseas, and doing something musical.

All those things I'd have liked to do, but in some small way each one has been affected by my deafness. I didn't go to University because back then I wouldn't have heard the lecturers, and notetaking was considered a form of cheating.

I'm single because (amongst other things) the men I have met haven't been able to cope with deafness that well, and I tend to get the feeling that men would like their females to be perfect, even if they're not that perfect themselves. Thats fine by me, I'm happy with my own company and I would rather be single than be with the wrong person.

I'd have loved to live overseas, somewhere other than New Zealand, but the opportunity never really presented itself, and I wasn't confident enough because of my lack of hearing to uproot and try.

And lastly - I would have loved to be a music performer, as I played the piano well, but I realised from a very young age I would one day be totally deaf, so I didn't pursue it hard enough. Sure Beethoven was deaf, but remember he went deaf much later.

So I can say with certainty that deafness has shaped my life to what it is today, and part of that shape includes photography which I'm passionate about. In fact, I think deafness and photography go really well together and I'm surprised not more people in the deaf community aren't serious photographers.

Being Deaf/deaf/hard of hearing/hearing impaired (whatever you see yourself as), makes us very visually aware. We become in tune with our surroundings whether it is with a group of people we communicate with, with sign, or visual clues, body language and lirpeading, or whether we are in quiet surrounding with no one about. For the latter we then became aware, for example, not of the bird singing, but of it's movement and behaviour. We will often see what hearing people don't. A hearing person may hear the bird, but not look, just simply knowing that the bird is there. We will see the bird, and often watch it to see what it does.

I'm aware of two instances that are clear in my mind today, as if they happened yesterday, where I became convinced that people with good hearing, are simply oblivious of what is around them. The first was I was walking up our main street many years ago when it was busier than it is today. It was a summer evening and we had finished work and on the way to the pub for friday night drinks. I was with a group of my workmates, all with good hearing. In front of us, was a 'golden couple'. Impeccably dressed with expensive clothes (you could tell), the male and female had their arms around each others waists. She had a perfect figure, and was very tanned, and was wearing white shorts - very short shorts so you could see where the top of her legs ended and her backside started. We were all watching them as they walked in front of, each admiring the view that was personal to them, when the female reached around to her backside and scratched it. Yet I was the only one who saw it. I cracked up because the then 'perfect' scene was ruined. Not one of the others in my group had seen it, yet they were all 'looking'.

Perhaps I was the only one admiring that particular view which is a bit of a worry in hindsight!! But it was really mind boggling to me that no one else in my group saw it happen.

A few years later I was at the zoo in the New Zealand Rainforest Aviary. There was a rare NZ parakeet were feeding up in the tree right above the pathway, yet I was the ONLY one who saw it. The other people within the aviary were completely blind to the fact that they walked under a branch with one of these gorgeous birds right above them, yet they never saw it. As an experiment, I called one back showed them, and asked if they had seen it before then - but no - they hadn't and were grateful I had showed them.

So my photography is like that - I capture things that people aren't aware of, or they are aware of, but try and present it in a different way, or angle. Or maybe I take something that people see every day, and they take for granted, and I present it so they are able to see that something in a different light.

When out with my camera, I don't have to talk to anyone, or converse with anyone which is great - it's me and my camera, although more often than not, strangers will talk to me about my camera gear and email addresses might be exchanged. I will often be given a camera by complete strangers to take photos of them in the current surroundings, these people are nine times out of 10 Japanese and no words need to be exchanged to what they want.

Photography doesn't come easy to me. I look back at the images I took ten years ago and cringe, but then remember that through trial and error and looking at work online, I have improved slowly and surely.

I will never take the world by storm. I doubt that anyone will remember my work in my lifetime or after, but it gives me a great sense of pride and achievement when I get something right and makes others look at an image and go 'wow'. More often than not, I'm surprised to get that kind of reaction but I have realised over time that art and images are very personal, and what one person dislikes intensely, another will love it. I now find the reasons why one loves or hates an image, more interesting than the image itself, and enjoy reading the reactions of people on my two art sites - deviantart and redbubble.

If you would like to see my images, then you can go to my photography blog. I upload one image per day so it's ever changing.

Cheers
Robyn

Friday, August 22, 2008

Amish Apple Dumplings

While in Philadelphia, we headed down to the Reading Terminal Market as it was suggested to us that we MUST go there.

I'm glad we did. A market full of wonderful food put on by the Amish people of Pennsylvania. I went twice - once for the Apple Dumplings that someone said were fantastic, and a second time to have them again because they were to die for.

Since I've been home I've been craving them a bit - I think because of the cold weather, so I did a google search for a recipe and came up with this one.

I use prepackaged sweet short pastry to wrap them up, and I leave out the mace because - well - mace is something we spray criminals with, and there's none on my local supermarket shelf under the herb/spice section.

Upon request, I'm making it for a second time for tonight and it's also been requested for Monday nights dinner as well!!

Here's the recipe I found!

Amish Apple Dumplings

6 Apples, peeled and cored
Lemon juice
1/2 c White sugar, approx
1 tsp. Cinnamon
Brown sugar
Butter
2 Pie pastry for 2 pies

Sugar Sauce:
2 c Water
3/4 c Sugar
2 tsp. Vanilla
2 tbl. Butter
1/4 tsp. Nutmeg
1/4 tsp. Mace


Roll out pastry and cut into squares enough to cover apples completely. Peel and core apples. Roll in lemon juice. Then roll in white sugar and cinnamon combined. Place on pastry square. Stuff core cavity with brown sugar, butter, brown sugar in equal parts. (The amount depends on size of core cavity, just
stuff full.) Fold pastry up around apple to completely enclose it. Place in pan.

Prepare sugar sauce by mixing water, sugar, vanilla, butter, nutmeg, and mace and boiling for 1 minute. Let cool slightly. Pour over Apples.

Bake in 375 F (190.5C) oven for 1 hour. Serve warm.

Note: Apples may be frozen in pastry (before sugar sauce is added) if desired. Good dessert to make ahead if you have lots of apples around. Just let thaw when ready to use, and cover with sugar sauce and bake as usual.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Are Customer Service People Dense?

What is it with Customer Service people? I'm sure I've blogged about this before but..

I had to ring Southern Cross Healthcare today about a claim they should have paid while I was away - they were asking for information that they already have on file (sigh!!).

I still cannot hear on the phone, so I asked a friend to phone for me. My friend kindly explained that I was deaf and could not hear on the phone.

"I still need to talk to her" they said.

She had to explain a second time! (Double sigh!) You would think coming from a MEDICAL firm that they would understand deafness.

Maybe the misheard and thought I was dead?

Either way I still wouldn't be able to use the phone!

Is there any hope for the human gene pool???

Cheers
Robyn

My New Shoes

I bought six pairs of shoes home from the USA. Only one pair was not a sports shoe. A few people think I'm nuts because of it but I love every pair of them and I know I have saved a lot of money buying them in the USA.

Actually New Zealanders are being ripped off when it comes to sports shoes. Mega ripped off, and it makes me wild that we have to pay so much. Take for example the Keen walking sandal... Here's a pic of it!



Nice shoe. Looks comfortable. Versatile. Summery. Colour great. I saw this shoe on sale at Sports Authority in San Luis Obispo for $19.95 USD. Unfortunately they didn't have my size so I bought a similar pair but of the TEVA brand instead.

I went down to our local outlet centre on Friday for a flat white coffee, something I missed terribly while upover, but called into the outdoors shop for a quick squiz at what they have in stock or on sale. It's a habit of mine - I like outdoor sports shops. Anyway - there in the far corner of the store, was this exact same keen sandal. And it was on sale... for...

$167.50 down from $239.99

I now wish I had asked the store in San Luis Obispo to find my size, get it in, and ship it to me!!!

Exchange rate? $1 USD is currently $0.72c NZ. So $19.95 is aprox $24.00 NZD.

The other pair of shoes I bought were Salomon off road walking shoes. These same shoes I tried on at Christmas time when I was training for the Oxfam 100km. Here in New Zealand they have a price tag of $325.00. For that reason I left them on the shelf and bought another pair slightly cheaper for something like $280.00.

I found these same Salomon shoes - same model - at REI in San Francisco. They were not on sale but still had a price tag of $84 USD - about $110 NZD.

So it's not the exchange rate. It's definitely not shipping costs. Someone in New Zealand is taking a huge slice of profit for bringing them over. Huge. That's $200 PER SHOE extra we're paying for at least - and I'm talking retail prices not wholesale. They also bring in far more than one shoe - I wouldn't care to guess the numbers.

We don't have the American's population - that I agree - but I still say we're being ripped off big time.

From now on anyone visiting New Zealand will need to make special room in their suitcase to bring me shoes.

Cheers
Robyn