Wednesday, February 27, 2008

My Evil Streak - Part II

A few weeks after the weekend away fishing, Paul and I decided to play a practical joke on Steve. I had been friends with Paul for many years, as had Steve, in fact, it was Paul that had introduced me to Steve in the first place.

Paul had fallen in love with a South African and had been having a mad passionate love affair with Erin, long distance, over the phone. This was in the days pre-internet. Telecom made a HUGE profit that year, I can only surmise that it was Paul and Erin that generated this profit. Why Telecom didn’t give them free lifetime accounts after that, I don’t know. Corporate greed I guess!!

After many many phone calls for many months, Erin finally came out to New Zealand to be with Paul. We didn’t tell Steve. Instead Paul organized a few drinks at Steve’s house after work one Friday, and I agreed to pick Erin up and bring her over, telling Steve she was a friend from work.

I picked Erin up and we were laughing like old friends within 10 minutes of meeting. There was never any awkward pauses, we became firm friends instantly. Friendships like these don’t happen often, and even though Erin now lives far away on the other side of the world, I still love her dearly and miss her to bits.

However, I’m getting away with myself. We drove out to Steve’s, and sat at Steve’s kitchen table. Steve opposite me, and Paul opposite Erin. Steve had absolutely no idea that Erin was actually with Paul. We talked for about an hour about all sorts of things, then got onto the subject of ‘Do you believe in love at first sight’. We debated this for a little while, then Erin got up and said.

‘Yes, yes – absolutely, I do” and walked over to Paul, and placed her mouth over his and kissed him passionately.

Steve’s face was classic. Wide open mouth, chin at his knees. It was hilarious. I had tears in my eyes, and I gasping for breath. Drat – no camera!

Steve did see the funny side but was livid that he had been tricked. ‘I should have seen it coming’ because he sensed that something was in the air that night. So he was determined to pay both Paul and I back, and schemed and plotted and finally came up with two jokes, one for Paul and Erin, and one for me!

Paul was first. Steve got an old waterproof watch, and set the alarm to go off at 3am every morning. Drove over to Paul’s when he knew he was out, let himself in (he had a key), and popped the watch through the opening where you fill the waterbed up with water. Mission accomplished.

Fortunately because it was in water it wasn’t toooo loud, but Paul spent days looking to where the alarm was coming from. I don’t think he was ever able to get it out, and he eventually sold the bed, with the alarm still going. I hope the battery eventually went flat!

For me – because I was deaf he couldn’t do that to me, so Steve came up with one especially for me. He made two tiny round cakes (remember he owned a cake making business), laid them side by side, put a toothpaste pump pack in a certain position to make it look rude. Decorated the cake with black icing (I will let your imagination go wild, and you would be right!), He put words on it to the effect ‘now you can have your very own pump pack and eat it too’. Then he delivered it to me at work. But first he rang my work and told reception that I would be receiving a parcel, and make sure that everyone was there when I opened it, as I was sure to be embarrassed.

When the cake arrived, I was actually at the dentist, so my department guarded it carefully, and when I came back, an announcement was made over the intercom that I was back. I sat down at my desk and started working, then ‘felt’ a commotion behind me. Looked behind to find all my fellow workers there holding a box, telling me it had just arrived. I said thanks, put it on my desk, and started working again, knowing it was from Steve, and knowing that it’d be embarrassing (I just sensed this!!)

My workers weren’t going to allow me to get away with this so easily so started opening the box for me. When it was opened there were roars of laughter all around both at the cake and my red cheeks! My friend at work said to me – ‘you’re finally met your match!’ The cake didn’t last – it was gobbled up very quickly. The toothpaste lasted a few months though :)

Steve is now happily married with two children to Alison, another very good friend of mine, also deaf. Paul is now living up in Whangarei and also has a long term partner. Erin is back in South Africa and has just recently got married to a lovely guy who is 15 years younger (lucky thing!) I still remain single with plenty of time on my hands to dream up practical jokes to play on people !


Bron said...

Damn it! You are not able to vote more than once on DeafRead!

Bron said...

Ha ha! I don't remember that cake incident so that must have been either before I met you or when I was hiding at Mandrill.... I am sure I would remember that!!

Robyn said...

It was a while ago - I was working either for OTR or AGB at the time -way before ACNeilsen took over the company!! So no, you were definitely not on the scene, although your mum was on the 3rd floor - I was on the 2nd! :)


Abbie said...

Wooo nelly, that was a funny one!!!